Our lives are not perfect, we commit mistakes. How much we regret from our mistakes, but still we pay for the scars that we made. We never stop believing and dreaming. Once I have fallen in love with someone. It made me happy and thought that he loved me the way I hope to be, I thought, he is the one. Many wonderful things happen within our relationship. I just could be believed when I told him that I got pregnant. He told me, he has no plans. It broke my heart. I can’t help the tears to fall. I realized he is not worthy for all the love that I gave him. He never cared to see me or visit me anyhow. All he can do was sent me text messages. Letting me feel that he is not he is there. I was damn idiot to make me feel that he cares and I know inside he doesn’t. I really regret that day I brought him the news.

Months and months came, until the day has come, I delivered my baby on a Caesarian Section. I was on the hospital for days. Still he wasn’t there, I never forgot he promise me that he will be there. I poke my heart again, and the same time, I was happy because I thought our relationship would end there. A week after that, he just appeared like he was lost in dessert. I really don’t know what to do. I just did what think was right for us all. He was able to meet his only son on the first time I just did. I did it for my son sake, not for his. I just don’t if being back together is the real solution of all these. Now three years had passed, I don’t get any formal proposal from him but promises. I don’t want to hold on those promises. I don’t want to get hurt from the same person again. I just help myself but cry every single night. I want to be free, free from him. I want to escape with my life. I’m tired, tired to hold on his promises that will no longer happen.

I just can’t leave him like that, so many things, I need to consider. Not only life is on at stake here. I have to reconsider people around us especially my son. If it’s easy alone with my son, I already did. But it’s not. Everything bothers me.